HOPE I LIVE and LOVE BEFORE I GROW OLDER!

The credit for the title of this post goes to Johanna in Vista!

But of course, the original idea goes back to a song that was written 40 years ago by a mutual "friend"!

It is early Sunday morning.
The house is quiet.
It is still dark outside.
Orion is pulsing silently in the southern pre-dawn sky.
Everyone is asleep.
All except me, Henrietta (guinea pig), Spoons & Chicken Nugget (goldfish).
This is the best part of the day!

I have my coffee & I'm making plans for the rest of the day.

Although it is Sunday, I have much work to do.
I have to go over the remainder of the books to edit any errors the auditor made. Our business was recently audited by Revenue Canada & they have come up with strange income that they have indicated we owe income tax on. Of course they did! They want all the taxes they can get, as well as make the audit worth their while. I have found many audit errors that I can back up with a paper trail, so that will all go into my response letter to the government.
It is just so time consuming.

I will not fret. I cannot put it off. I will simply do what has to be done.

We have closed the business down. The decision was made & steps were taken before hearing from the government. That has in no way contributed to the decision.
We had been considering it for some time now.
George's first concern was his health. All that auto body dust, paint & chemicals are not good for one's system.
We came to the agreement after our holiday in Fiji. Our heads were clear & we were both on the same page about it for the first time.
In the same moment, George was accepted an excellent postition working for some friends with their construction company. He is now foreman of a jobsite & working outdoors building multi-million dollar timber-frame homes at the ski resort.
The pieces all fell together to create a perfect picture.
It is a good thing.
Similarly, I was offered more hours at work, which I accepted. I miss being able to get all the household work done & having the time for myself, but we need the extra income.
Bottom line.

We have all had to adjust, but isn't that one of the things we, as humans, do best?
Adaptation has brought us to where we are in our evolution.
Oh dear, that is about as far as I'm going to go with that one! My, how I could go on...

"The kids are alright"!
They seem to have the ability to take everything in stride. They are happy, healthy & well-adjusted. The trials for them in a day are:
What activity will I do?
Who will I play with?
What is for breakfast, lunch & supper?
Do I really have to do my chores?
etc.

I am happy that I am continuing on my journey in the Land of Non. I took a short jaunt off the path on Friday evening by having a few glasses of wine & sharing a beer with George. It was a jaunt taken quite on purpose to see what the outcome would feel like.
I learned that as far as having a drink, I can take it or leave it.
I will leave it.

I want to live for today which, of course, is all I CAN do.
This moment of this day is only here now & only here once.

I will love & live it all to the best of my ability!

ATTACK of the CHEESE PUFFS

I am trying to eat healther, but a craving keeps rearing it's ugly head.
They are oh, so good! Those little puffy, cheesy snacks that are loaded with everything bad & not one single thing good for me...
I can swallow a whole bag of them (one at a time, that is) in one sitting!
Will this become my new habit/addiction to replace my evening cocktail?

One for another...

Cheese Puffs Anonymous!

PRAYERS

I don't think of myself as a particularly religious person, but I am vey spriritual.

My upbringing was during the post-war baby boom in a middle class family in a suburban neighbourhood of a relatively large city. Nothing outstanding in that.
We attended our local Protestant church. I went to Sunday School, sang in the youth choir with my younger siblings & attended all the church functions. Those are happy memories.
Many of the things I learned there I have brought with me & practiced into adulthood. Well...practiced to the best of my earthly human ability.

But, there are other learnings I have recognised in myself & I know not where they come from.
A deep-seated knowledge. Akin to a wisdom that is just with me.

I believe in God & I believe in The Messiahs - God's teachers here on earth (there are many, depending upon which religion you practice). For all I know, we are all sent here to teach someone something from God!
I am not attempting to bring up a discussion about the various religions that abound within humanity. That subject is far to distant from my own limited knowledge of the world to even broach.
My thoughts this morning are that if I have nothing left in the world, I know there is something that no one or nothing can take away.
That is my power to pray & be heard.
The entity that/who hears me, I don't know for sure. But I believe I meet God or Allah or Jesus or Jehovah or Bono or Pete or Ikapikapoo... every day.

I have much to be thankful for:

My wonderful children & husband.
My fabulous extended family.
My great friends - real & cyber.
My health & happiness, as well as that of my family.
My passions & my love for life.
My home.
My work & coworkers
My mountains.
My animals.

I, once more, will begin saying my prayers every day.
This is my prayer for the day.

DEVASTATION, but only in my mind

This is a photo of the slipper I wore during Rachel's 6th episode of "In The Attic".

I missed the show...

Due to the age of my computer, slow dial-up Internet & other things that can & will go wrong with technology, I was unable to see it. I could hear it in bits & pieces, then it kicked me out. Over & over again.
I attempted a conversation during the show on Ballerinagurl's chat room. That didn't even work. My computer kicked me out of that.
(I really wasn't trying to be rude by leaping in & then disappearing without saying goodbye to all! Please accept my apologies!)

Is someone/thing trying to tell me something?

I'll chalk it up to a lesson in patience. Not much else I can do...

Believe me, I was there in spirit!
Can anyone fill me in on what happened during the show?
Any juicy tidbits?
Any good songs? (of course there were good songs...)
What is Matt like?
Were Mikey, Pete & Simon all there?
Any surprise cameos?
What did the set look like?
Did Pete show up in his jammies?
Was Matt wearing jammies?
Did Rachel have her "question & answer time"?
Anything????

Maybe I can sneak-a-peak at work tomorrow when no one is looking...

(It's a Polar bear foot all the way from Canada!)

Good Night & Love to All!

BOBBY and ME

This is a photo we took with our webcam this evening. Beth showed me how to use it.
As the title indicates, this is my 9 year old son, Bobby & me.

ROUTINE

We are working on getting back into our daily routine now that school is back in swing. It's difficult to maintain that balance when everything gets thrown out of whack. We stuck to a schedule as much as possible during the strike, but it wasn't the same.
George & I had to go to work everyday, leaving our oldest to look after her 2 younger siblings. It was tough on all. Even if we had the means & wanted to get the kids into daycare, it would have been impossible. All the daycares were at capacity because of no school.
The kids have to get used to doing homework on a regualar basis again. I'm sure they will have more of it in order to catch up on the curriculum that they all missed. We will have to help them.

Routine is important in order for me to get done all the things that need doing each day. I get up at 5:00 a.m. & begin my day. I make lunches, fold laundry, do my excercises & get the kids' school things & clothes ready. Because I am more of a morning person, I like to make the lunches at that time. I tend to fade too much in the evening no matter what time I get up. I like evenings for family time. We always have family dinner together, then get last bits of homework & reading done & maybe watch a couple of prime time shows on TV.

Today I am feeling better, but not 100%. I've got this nagging feeling that I sometimes get, as if something is not quite right. But I can fix that. I will do an attitude adjustment & enjoy my day at work. I'll have lots to do because I missed yesterday.

I am behind on lots of household books, too. I have to balance the checkbooks, open the mail, do the payables & go over the auditors papers to look for errors. George has closed down his business, so I will have to get that all in order. I wish there were more hours in the day! I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. That is more than likely what is "wrong".
The only way to combat that, is to get cracking & just do it. It's a mind-set.

So, I will say goodbye to cyberspace & get on with my routine!

WEATHER FORCAST

Today I'm feeling a bit under the weather.
I stayed home from work & napped a lot of the day.
I simply hate not feeling well. I am so poor at it. If I could, I'd feel over the moon every day, but that is so not possible!

The day has been a rather pensive one.
I have arrived in the Land of Non ahead of schedule.
When in Rome do as the Romans so, as of today, I am a non-drinker - one week ahead of time.
Will the ride be bumpy? I don't know. I guess it all "depends upon my dependency."
Am I all that dependent? I don't know. "Mother's little helper" can be devious.
Can I be even more devious in return? I hope so.

It is entirely up to me to decide what the answers will be...


The good news is, the teacher strike is over!
My children are back in school getting the education they deserve.
Halleluia!

It's been mighty quiet at home today...

THE LAND OF NON

Well, here goes...
As of November 1, 2005 I will no longer drink alcohol.
I don't consume much compared to the next guy, but I feel it is too much for me personally.
Therefore, along with Rachel & her fellow vice-ridden bloggers, I will be making the pilgrimmage to the LAND of NON (non-smokers & non-drinkers, that is).
Rachel & her smoking friends will have a more difficult time kicking their habit, but we all have our demons to face regardless of what our vice or habit is.
Superamanda posed the challenge & there are quite a number of us who will be taking it up. We are setting goals for ourselves & using each other as support. It just might be fun.
Today I went & bought a $130.00 pair of running shoes. That might be the most money I have ever spent on sensible footwear. (My riding boots & ski boots cost more than that, of course, but they don't count!)
My left hip has been bothering me since we arrived back from Fiji in August, so I need a good, sturdy pair of support shoes. Now I will be able to spring my way around the neighbourhood.
The plan is to begin walking then gradually work up to a walk/jog, then jog/run, etc. I will incorporate my regular set of stretches & abs excercises into my routine.
Wish me luck.

BANGS vs FRINGE vs TIME

I call them bangs - Rachel calls them a fringe. Plural vs singular.
I like fringe much better.

I am forced to call mine BANGS right now. I cut them too short & I look pretty geeky.
I have the type of looks that need all the help they can get - short, geeky bangs are not help!
Hair grows, thank goodness...
Horses are given "bang tails" when the tail hairs are trimmed straight & evenly across the bottom in order to look neat & fashionable. No such thing as a "fringe tail".
Bangs are hard. A fringe is soft.

Oh, bloody h*ll, I cut my hair too short.

Thanks to those who posted comments on my blog! I appreciate it & it was fun reading.
I will continue working on my sketching, Mikey. I know that I do need incentive & inspiration, both of which can run low when I find myself as busy as I am now. Sometimes I just need a push from somewhere unexpected.

And the ability to create the time.

Isn't it amazing how flexible time can be?
Time can pass slowly or quickly, we can fill it up or whittle it away, we can stretch it or compress it, it can disappear or be in our face, we can use it wisely or not, we can create the time or use it as an excuse to avoid getting things done.
Next time, last time, in time, out of time, make time, lose time, on time, late...

My fringe will grow.
Just give it time.

FEELING SORRY (for myself)

I'm feeling left out because no one comments on my blog!

I've been blogging to Rachel for some time now & in all that time there have been only 3 visitors who have left messages. Thank You!
I must appear boring or the like.

Yes, I am a Canadian, a mum, a hard worker (at home & at my place of employment) & I love animals & the outdoors (horses, dogs, guinea pigs, camping, skiing, mountain biking, etc.). Does all of that qualify me for "boredom"?

No, I have not done anything globally noteworthy.
I cannot play the guitar or the piano, nor can I sing very well. I have no acting experience, unless you consider the role of The King of Hearts in an operetta that the church choir performed when I was 13. (I did have 2 solo songs to sing). I have no great inventions, save those little ones that make life easier in my home.
No astro nor nuclear physics Nobel Peace Prize.

I am a ski instructor, a horseback riding instructor & I am teaching my 3 children the ways of the world as they grow.
I am smart.
I can sketch & am working on developing a portfolio. I LOVE to sketch - it takes me away...
I also love to write!

I would be tickled pink to receive even a small note from Rachel or Pete... Just so I know that they know I am here.
However, I will not hold my breath. My own life is too important to me than to lose it over the computer talking with artists who have very little time & everyone else wanting a piece of them!

I am comfortable in my own skin & in my own life. I have a wonderful husband & super children. I am very, very lucky!
So, please don't get me wrong. I'm not living for this blog.
But a note from someone nice would be nice...

I've said my piece. Now on to enjoy the day!
It's Friday!

BUSTED and RANDSOM

I caught about 30 minutes of Rachel on WhoTV yesterday during my lunch break. I then noticed a yellow sticky-note on the computer "THIS COMPUTER IS FOR WORK APPLICATIONS ONLY. NOT FOR PRIVATE USE".
Busted!
It felt like "1984's" Thought Police, although it really isn't. I have enough seniority that if I actually asked or said something it would be OK.
It was the insecure child part of me thinking that if I did really ask I'd be leaving the door open for a "no" answer. Now isn't THAT silly!

I am getting very fed up with the teacher strike. My children are being kept hostage in this situation. I realise that the teachers have a point or two, but I don't agree with blackmail tactics that unions utilise. Furthermore, it is an illegal strike, because teachers in BC have been deemed an "essential service". Striking is not permitted.
All I can say is, that once an agreement is reached, my children had better shine at school & receive an even better education than before this bloody strike!!!

MONDAY BLUES...PURPLES...BLACKS...

Here I sit at my computer (again - but I guess this is the only way I can make a post) musing over the past day. It has been quite the one.
I only had about 3 hours sleep on account of my teenage daughter & her friend (sleeping over) deciding to sneak out the window to party with the boys. My mother's 6th sense told me something was up, so when I checked on them only to find the window open & screen askew, I was not surprised. Hey, I was 15 once...
I almost wish I had not discovered it, because it quite cut into my sleep. But really, I'm glad I did catch them (red-handed coming back in the window). I was lying in wait. I don't want this to become a habit. The reason I had a curfew for them was because my daughter had to look after her younger brother & sister today. The bloody teacher strike is still on. In a way, I do blame the strike, because it was what influenced my choice to let them have a sleep-over.
I will leave it at that.

I spent a stressful day at work. The kids were calling with all sorts of complaints, rumours of battles & conflicts, etc. Difficult to deal with over the phone at work. Not to mention the fact that I am working more hours each day 5 days/week instead of less hours only 3 days/week. I will just have to adapt.

I am so envious of my fellow bloggers who are on Rachel's guest list for her gig tomorrow evening in London. I am happy for them, too! What an experience. I will be shouting along with them in my heart. Will have to listen to Rachel's CD all day...

We ordered Chinese food for dinner tonight. I simply did not feel like having to cook.
I did split my fair share of firewood, though. It's good exercise & nice to be in the fresh air, even though it's been raining all day & soggy outside.

Happy Birthday, Mum! We gave her a call this evening.

I will say my prayers tonight.

SUNDAY and FIREWOOD

I am sitting here at the computer when there is a payload of other things that I should be doing. (I just cooked up a big breakfast of Eggs Benedict, pan fries, bacon, sausage, etc.) The dishes are not completely done yet, the vacuuming has yet to be started (I have to do the window screens, too, because of the cottonwood fluff stuck in them), both bathrooms need cleaning, & there is a giant pile of firewood in the backyard that needs splitting & stacking.
I think I'll begin with finishing the dishes then tackle the stack of wood. I need a bit of exercise & some fresh air.
It's Sunday, but certainly not a day of rest for us...

The teachers are still on strike, so I believe it will be another day home for the kids. That really sucks - they should be at school getting their education!
Just my luck that I have more hours at work to deal with, as well. I hate leaving them all at home without me being there. At least Beth is old enough to deal with the 2 younger ones. She is a real life-saver! Apparently the local daycares are all booked to overflowing because of the strike. We are lucky that we don't have to depend on outside childcare.

Nothing more wild or intelligent to say on this fall Sunday...

RACHEL AND INVENTIONS

The main purpose of my creating this site was in answer to Rachel Fuller's blog. I wanted to post with new-found friends who are also interested in her and her music. It has been quite an adventure! There are so many more voices out there celebrating Rachel and her music than there were when she first created her own blog a few months ago.
Rachel has proved herself a sincere artist, singer, songwriter, as well as an individual with a wonderful sense of humour and an enthusiastic love for what she lives and does - my kind of girl!

It was through Pete Townshend that I first became aware of Rachel. She helped Pete with the music in the radio production of his long-awaited "Lifehouse". Although I have not heard the final version, I have read the book - it is very much Pete.
I am loathe to call myself a "fan" of Pete Townshend - it is a word that does not properly define my admiration for him. Rather it simplifies it, which is not how I feel - he deserves much more than "fandom" from my point of view. I may have been a "fan" during my teenage years while listening the The Who, but it has evolved in many ways in the years since.

I was very curious about Rachel because of my views of Pete and his work. I knew that she had to be a force to be reckoned with if she was to consider herself Pete's equal. Rachel has more than fit the bill by coming across as the loving, confident, fun and humourous person that she is. As well, she has brought with her all those human qualities that Pete holds so dear.

I am neither sycophant nor fan, nor am I a "psycho-fan"!
I am simply an individual who has heard the boy's music most of my life and through that music, to my surprise, I discovered a soul similar to mine. As a result I discovered Rachel, and in her, the girl who makes music!


And now for something completely different...
I have just discovered the greatest invention since Velcro!

Stretch Denim!

Yesterday I bought two pairs of jeans - apparently, the first pairs in years. Now I know how my daughter and her friends can sport about in jeans that look like they have been painted on. I often wondered how they ever got them on, let alone sit down in them...
My new jeans are so comfortable that I don't want to take them off. This is coming from someone who can't wait to put their pyjamas on after getting home from work!

Where have I been? This is big news!

Is there anything else out there that I should be aware of?...