I am still trying to sort things out, both emotionally and physically.
At the moment I grieve deeply and can, at the least, simply be happy knowing my children are alive.I might be hesitant to say well, due to the fact that I do not think any of us are doing well. We are merely coping.
My two younger children are with their dad and I miss them so very much.
I also miss my home, the cosy woodstove, the laughter, and the sunlight shining through the kitchen window.
Everyone at work has been very patient and understanding, even though I have been absent for several days.
Bobby has been having isuues at school, and past troublesome learning habits have, once more, reared their ugly heads. I must see that he is looked after.
Jenny is very resiliant, yet she is the one who carries the most anger over her dad's and my separation. Still, she is young enough to move on from day to day with the most ease of all.
Beth is with me. Where she needs to be. For now.
I am staying with my new partner in his home.
Most of my belongings are packed away in storage, but my two couches and some sitting room furniture are set up in an empty area of his room.
It looks quite homey, but I still feel out of place.
I need my own space - especially now.
As for Beth, I cannot forgive what has been done.
I love her, care for her, and will always wish the best for her.
I pray for Beth.
I pray for Bobby.
I pray for Jenny.
I pray for Gene.
As for Beth, I cannot forgive what has been done.
I love her, care for her, and will always wish the best for her.
I pray for Beth.
I pray for Bobby.
I pray for Jenny.
I pray for Gene.
(He has been so patient and kind through all this.)
I pray for George.
I pray for George.
I pray for a simple Peace.
Happier Days
I am praying for Dale!
ReplyDeleteMe too, Cheryl Ann.
ReplyDeleteEven from the outside looking in, I have a hard time looking at Beth's selfishness as something other than that. In some deep, deep place of quiet ... I can maybe glimpse the subconscious attempt at ridding Mom of the burden of having to let go of that house. But, that may be too deep. It's the lack of respect for what you loved and what you built. That's what I feel worst about when looking at Beth's choices. It's not that uncommon in teens to view others with little regard, at times. I'm sure, Dale, that you've been through these thoughts a million times. In the end, Beth may need to move forward by moving away. But, Beth - if you read here ... I do question your judgment and your ability to manage your own life. I understand your Mom's split in wanting you to go but also wanting to hold you close. It's because she's wise enough to realize that you do not have the maturity to function on your own. That's no one's fault. Except maybe your own.
If my words hurt you in any way ... I do apologize. It's not my intent. But, in the darkest recess of my heart ... I wouldn't be completely upset if your feelings were hurt. Developing empathy - putting yourself in someone else's shoes - is in order. I hope you're working now (at least part time) and earning the money to help repair the damage you've done. Same goes for the non "friends" who caused the damage.
In this case, because what occurred was so grievous --- I would encourage Dale to approach the parents of each and every one of these children and ask for help in reparation. Maybe this is wrong, maybe it's right. I don't have all the facts. Getting this pack of brats to wield hammers and nails for building instead of destroying may be an option. If it has to be an option that is decided on by the Law. Then, so be it.
In the meantime ... yes. I pray for each of you, that you find some light, some hope, some peace, and some understanding from the trouble.
xo Tink
Prayers for all in your family Dale.
ReplyDeleteThe sun will shine again.
XO
Zoe
Dale, I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. I do pray for you and your family and I hope that in time you can forgive Beth and in time she can give you a reason to trust her and be proud of her again.
ReplyDeleteIMO, Beth if you are reading this it is time to step up and take some responsibility here, give up some of the people (if they can be catagorized as such)involved so they can pay for their actions also. That way maybe your Mom can get some help with the repairs needed to restore what was reduced to a structure back into a home. The warm, loving home you chose to spit upon.
Dale, things will get better.
I pray for you Dale, and your family. It's just a rough bumpy road right now, I hope your days get brighter and happier soon.
ReplyDeletexx
Dale, you don't need to make sense of it all. Just know that you will come out the other side.
ReplyDeleteTake everything one day at a time.
The light will shine on you all again..have faith..
xx
PS, wheres our ruddy Derelicté Marines when we needed them?..trying to rescue Bert our carrier pigeon no doubt!..
Hang in there Dale! You are in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteDale, I have always enjoyed your posts over at Rachel's blog. I haven't looked at yours until now and I am very sad to read all this.
ReplyDeleteComplete recovery from drugs and alcohol is entirely possible and I hope that Beth can find it - assuming I understand the situation correctly. I can't imagine what it must be like for this to happen to you. In addition to being sad, I have anger hearing of this and I hope you can get yours out, again assuming I understand correctly.
Please take good care of yourself. I will be praying for you.
Dale,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and wishing there was something more I could do.
xx
AM
That is just aweful Dale. It makes me sick to my stomach to tell you the truth. Together, my wife and I have poured our sweat, tears and occasional blood on our humble home, I can't imagine what this must be like for you at present.
ReplyDeletePlease stay strong. This will hopefully all work out.
Dale, I've been over here so many times this evening, wondering what I could say that would make any sense, but then as Gypsy says, maybe's not the time for making sense of it all. Perhaps time will give it perspective and you need some distance from it. Big hugs and love to you. We are thinking of you and sending you strength. xxxxx
ReplyDeleteDale, I came here late last night to see you'd cleared your blog, which worried me. I'm happy at least to see you're back with us again. Writing and sharing is good therapy.
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing your vacant blog, then later reading this, I felt very very guilty having posted so happily last night. There but for the grace, as they say. You said once that I am lucky. You're so right. Today, enjoying that luck feels very selfish. A different choice here, a dodgy friendship there ... that's all it takes for things to go wrong, and it's often the nicest kids and most loving families it happens to. It's one of life's greatest injustices, and I see it often - it was nice to see it acknowledged in that newspaper article too.
Through all this though, you have shown an amazing ability to hold on to what is most important - that your children are still here, and are loved. I just hope that somewhere in with the wonderful mother you are, Dale herself finds time to look after her own needs.
I'm not much of one for praying, but I think of you often, and if positive and caring thoughts can travel, you shuld be up to your ears in mine pretty soon.
I hope things get better for Bobby and Jenny soon, and of course for Beth, but today my deepest thoughts are for you.
M x
Dale:
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you after reading that newspaper article...
do your best to keep your spirits up. As you said, no one was injured or killer and that is the most important thing, everything else in life is replaceable. When you have a loss like that (I have had several due to flooding) it really makes you think about what is needed to be happy and to survive, A roof over your head, the love of family and food to eat. You will appreciate everything a lot more, especially the little things.
I give you credit for your strength and I wish only the best for you in the near future to counteract the size of this 'accident'.
Your house seems beautiful as does the land it is situated on in the photo. In time, eveything will come around ful circle and back to normal and you will laugh about this one day. Doesn't seem lik e it now but you will.
You say you are not comfortable where you are, just remember what it takes to make a home - people who love one another, not things.
I am so sorry you had to go through this but it will make you stronger, no doubt.
Thanks for sharing...
lotsa love to you
-Lin
Head high sweet Dale! Sorry about all the drama and hurt this caused. I can suggest several things to help out but that would be sticking my nose in and I am not one to be like that at all. I can only say that some things that work for some don't for others. Perhaps your daughter is not hanging out with the best of friends and perhaps it is from her frusteration over you and her Dad's situation. You would think young children would be respectful and it is heartbreaking to think someting like this would take place. I am so sorry! Thankfully it is only monetary and all items can be replaced if needs be and your family is ok in the end. I am sure beth will grow from this situation and this too shall pass! My support here for you always!
ReplyDeleteXXMolly
Dale, My heart also goes out to you and your kids. All of your lives have changed so drastically. Beth has behaved horribly and disrespectfully and Bobby and Jenny are caught in the crossfire all around. You all must be so frustrated. Listen to your heart and do what it tells you. You'll be okay.
ReplyDelete...and do consider rounding up the parents of those 'friends' of Beth's who destroyed your home and asking them to do the right thing. It won't bring your home or your life back, but some of them at least might be looking for an opportunity to do something...and the vandals that are eighteen and above especially need to pay - to somehow learn some respect.
I can't imagine how you've felt these past weeks, but you'll get through this. I know that's easy for all of us to say, but you know it's true, too. Everything happens for a reason and the light can only be as bright as the darkness is dark.
New beginnings are already happening for you. You have a new job...and it sounds like you also have someone patient and kind who cares for you. Your two youngest need you, and maybe Beth has learned something from this - if only that she has done something that you can't forgive her for.
Nurture the good as you always do and hang in there, Dale. You're in my thoughts often these days.
Rache
XO
Dale
ReplyDeleteKeeping you and your family in my prayers. My sisters and brother (and myself!) gave my mother reason to cry many times in our teenage years. My sister had a party while she was in high school and rumors spread around town before the party - the local police department ended up kicking in the front door and there were kids jumping out the second floor windows. Don't know what the police were expecting, but it had been a rather tame party before they arrived...
We all do things in our younger years that we don't look back on very proudly, but most of us grow up and turn out to be fairly decent people.
I can tell you are a strong person and you will get through this and actually make some good come out of this.
(((hugs)))
Cathy
Dear Dale-
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you.
I can honestly relate to feelings of loss and being away from my home.
Sending love and light your way,
Suexxxx
Johanna can't get on blogger anymore, but she wanted to leave this comment for you:
Dale,
Hugs...big hugs....I wish I could give you a real hug right now...cyber will have to do.
One day....some kind of good will come of this. More hugs to you and your family.
Johanna in Carlsbad....
Back again. I keep returning here and reading these wonderful comments, knowing you are reading them too and hoping you are taking comfort from them, Dale. These dear blog friends say everything and more, but the truth behind them is that whatever the distance, this blogging community cares for you deeply Dale, and I hope that above all, this can give you some solace. My hugs to Bobby and Jenny who probably feel bewildered, I'm sure, but even more loved now. Bigger hugs for you my friend xxxx
ReplyDeleteHello Dale,
ReplyDeleteI pray for you and think, after a bad day the sun will be shining at the next day.
At these moment, I'm here in my business and I promise to come back tonight or tomorrow.
Take care
Love and peace
Stefan
Thoughts are with you, and hopfully, you will look back on this as just come to regard it as an episode which had no lasting effect on you and your family.
ReplyDeletexx
Hi Dale,
ReplyDeleteI saw over on Rachel's blog and came right over. I have been away from blogging for so long that I had no idea that you and george were splitting up. I don't know about Gene even.
I am dumfounded by the news of what happened to your house. That is way beyond a wild party. That is serious damage. My heart aches for you Dale. You have so many many things to deal with right now.
I love you and I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh NO! I just got back to blog-land after being in the US. I don't know what to say except heartfelt support for all you are going through!
ReplyDeleteActually, I do have something to say. I was amazed at the amount of anger my son had due to our divorce. I let him destroy my antique hutch and table, as well as our 'bed'. He went to it with a relish. I loved the two antique pieces, but I loved him more -he had tons of anger he was attempting to keep away from myself and my ex. I appreciated the fact that he was trying very hard not to be reckless, so when he went at the hutch I just let it be. We are fine now, he is no longer angry and is quite happy. I don't condone any of it, but sometimes people are driven by emotions that are uncontrollable and it's better they take them out on things instead of people. I still remember the ache I had inside when I watched my things being destroyed...symbols of a once very happy home. I also remember the grin on his face when he obliterated our king-sized bed.
ReplyDeleteOh Dale, this was your old house? And your daughter's party? I think I am getting that correct. I'm so sorry this has all happened to all of you. Prayers are with you!!!
ReplyDelete~Lace~
Dear Dale, I'm really sorry that this has happened. As you probably remember, I also got divorced while my son was in high school. I realize how many emotions the kids have at a time of change.
ReplyDeleteUltimately in our case the two newly created households ended up being much more peaceful than the one we shared when I was married. So my son has said, aloud, "Thank you," to me for initiating the divorce.
I don't know your specific situation but I send you all the hugs, support, and positive thoughts and prayers possible.
Again, I'm sorry for what's happened. Please let me know if you want to "talk" about the divorce and parenting issues, ever. If my address doesn't show up (I'm having blogger identity issues!), I'm brinampls at gmail.com. Ok?
Love,
Brina
I am so shocked to read about this and I send all my sympathies. I truly wish I could help you rebuild.
ReplyDeleteGary is right it's just sickening.
Tough love. When kids become emotional and destructive tyrants it's the only thing they compute.
Thinking of you,
Amanda
I'm really sorry to hear this, Dale. Please, stay strong, hope things will get better soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending big hugs and kisses for you.
ElenaXXXXX
Dale: I can't wait for the two weeks when I'll see you.
ReplyDeleteEveryone else: The warmth and support that I'm reading here is bringing tears to my eyes. Thank you all for being so loving and supportive to my dear sister. I know that your words are really helping her and she is very appreciative.
Our entire family is in shock and giving her moral support - but we're spread thousands of miles apart. So your words are helping her just as much as ours are.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
May the pain and the shock be over soon, Dale. That's what I wish to all involved - and you especially, of course.
ReplyDeleteDear Dale
ReplyDeleteI am prayinf for you and your children.
Love and hug..
Tomoko xx
Dale:
ReplyDeleteIf you need us, we have your back.
what on earth is going on these days? This sort of thing makes one not want to leave the house for a trip....ever.
We will pray for you.
--Dan L.
Dale, came by to say hello and see how you are?
ReplyDeletexxoo
Hey Dale!
ReplyDeleteAs my dad told me about your house and so I was very shoked!!!
I hope that everthing is going to be good again for you!!!!
I pray for you!!!!
Love, Charly
. In the end, Beth may need to move forward by moving away. But, Beth - if you read here ... I do question your judgment and your ability to manage your own life. I understand your Mom's split in wanting you to go but also wanting to hold you close. It's because she's wise enough to realize that you do not have the maturity to function on your own. That's no one's fault. Except maybe your own.
ReplyDeletehah okay.. pretty sure i dint mean to have what happened. i think that people shouwld stop talking about it. i aint going to bow down to my mum for my whole life. i said im sorry and i cant relly do much else. i cant live in the past. i do not dwell on the past. i have to move on. pretyy sure that i can live on my own too. i aint immature. sure i made a poor friggen choice but dont we all. im not a only teenager that does this or has messed up. we have all made mistakes in our past. i think we should all stop worrying about me (especially my mother) stop worrying about my life and my mistakes and worry about your own. its not fair that u are speaking so horribly about me public on the internet. i do not need your friedns sympathying you i mean yes i did sometyhing wrong, but u were going to have to leave that house. u are exxagerating everything into something more than it is. mayeb take a step back and realize that i didnt mean to hurt you but you ever wonder..maybe im the one whose hurt a lot. maybe im the one with soo much anger right now and im holding it all in trying to act happy and storong when really im not...ever think of that. i bet u never did. u only took my actiosn as me being selfish. take a step back mother. look at the picture as a whole!