"Take the Lake"

Approximately ten metres wide and five kilometres long, it knocks a good twenty minutes from the time it takes to drive to town and back. No, it's not rapid public transit, nor is it the result of expensive bridge engineering. And yet, it could very well be both - minus the cost.
It's our seasonal highway across the frozen lake.
Not only a quick, as-the-crow-flies route to town, the byway is also peppered with a variety of quaint (and not-so-quaint) ice fishing shacks. As well, it is not uncommon to see entire families out picnicking, young ones in tow - literally. There are always toboggans loaded with laughter being pulled behind all terrain vehicles and snow mobiles. Barbeques, bonfires and woodstoves abound - it's cold out there! On the weekends the ice surface becomes a veritable midwinter playground.
Organised events are also numerous. January hails the annual Curling Bonspeil on the Ice and, in February, there are the Ice Fishing Derby and Snow Golf Tournament. Try finding a golf ball in the snow...
Then there's the unexpected. One evening, as I was heading home and preparing to launch onto the ice road, I waited at an intersection as a snowboarder, roped to a half-ton truck, crossed the intersection. Apparently, the fun continues beyond the shoreline.
That all being said, the ice highway does have its follies.
Springs and open water have taken their share of victims over past winters. Therefore, it's a good idea to stick to the road, rather than strying to far from its track.
The local hockey team does a fund-raiser each year by doing an "Ice-Out" lottery. Everyone who purchases a ticket has a chance to make a guess as to when the ice will be gone off the lake. Every year it happens in a varying ways and on a different date - all dependent upon the weather.
My guess is that we will be able to take the lake for at least another three weeks.

What I Did on my Winter Birthday...

Yes, this is me skiing - not some young hotshot racer...

Here I am, working on some turns on a run called Schober's Dream. It was a lovely, not-too-cold, but snowy day at the hill.

I have dreams, too...

"Don't Mess With Mum"

My kids came home from school one day
with a smirk upon their face.
They decided they were smart enough
To put me in my place.

Guess what we learned in a class today
that's taught by Mr. White?
It's all about the laws today-
The Children's Bill of Rights.

It says we need not clean our room,
don't have to cut our hair.
No one can tell us what to think or speak,
or what we have to wear.

We have freedom from religion
and, regardless what you say,
we don't ever have to bow our head,
and sure don't have to pray.

We can wear earrings if we want
and pierce our tongue and nose.
We can read and watch just what we like
and get tattoos head to toes.

And, if you ever spank us,
we'll charge you with a crime.
We'll back up all our charges
with the marks on our behind.

Don't you ever touch us-
our body's for our own use.
Not for your hugs and kisses-
thats just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals
like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control
and that's illegal, too.

Mum, we have these children's rights,
so you can't influence us.
Or we'll call local Family Services
and we'll make a great big fuss...


I mulled it over carefully-
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face-
they're messing with a pro.

The next day I took them shopping
at the local goodwill store.
I told them pick out all you want,
there's shirts and pants galore.

I checked with Family Services,
and they said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Air.

I've cancelled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
Family Services is unconcerned,
so I'll decide what's best.

I said, no time to stop and eat
or pick up stuff to munch.
Tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and fried onions-
a favourite dish of mine.

The asked if they can rent a movie
to watch on their VCR.
Sorry, but I sold your TV
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your rooms
to paying folk instead.
All that Family Services requires
is a roof above your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now
and I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your fancy toys-
your imagination will help you play.
And check out The Parents' Bill of Rights.
It's in effect today!


*Author unknown.

Delphine

Delphine is indeed a figment of my imagination.

She is a direct result of my being bothered by stress and bad dreams. One night, after awaking from a disturbing nightmare, I was fearful of closing my eyes again.

The monsters lurked, all too real, beneath my eyelids.
I then made the conscious decision to have a good dream once I fell back to sleep...

Hence, Delphine was born - my most definitely grey baby elephant. She was so delightfully bursting with silly antics, that I fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter in my sleep, vowing to write about her on my blog...