“Don’t Explain. Don’t Complain”

 (The motto of the Royals). 

My own struggles while growing up were based upon that same motto. However, I cannot help but live each day with my heart on my sleeve; it is how, and who, I am. 

But at that time, emotions were not to be expressed, so I dove into daydreams, but quickly discovered, nor was daydreaming permitted.

I learned to live in my head and created an outer shell to not only protect myself, but to protect those around me from my outlawed feelings. 

~ ADF Spring 2023

Geek Alert

Fifty-seven years ago a small, blonde, nine-year old girl eagerly awaited the launch of an exciting new TV series. After sneak peeks of the series’ trailers, she’d badgered her parents mercilessly to allow her to watch and, to her surprise, they acquiesced. (In those days, television was held in slightly suspicious regard by her family).
Thus, the evening of Thursday, September 8, 1966 found that wide-eyed little girl, rapt, in front of the family’s black and white Marconi television, as a colourful cast of characters launched boldly to go where no man had gone before.
Fast-forward to present day, and you will find an older woman, with the odd streak of grey in her hair and now bearing an array of life stories within every line and wrinkle.
However, one thing remains the same; she sits, eager and wide-eyed, awaiting the future of an equally colourful ensemble of characters who continue to go boldly where no one has gone before!

~ Thank you Mum and Dad.

Sunrise and the Locomotive

Daylight looms
And the treetops shiver,
And on this breath
Rides a distant quiver. 

The brightening skies
Lend to red,
As the rattling leaves
Float down to bed. 

The whistle’s call,
Rising on the breeze,
Carries with it
A melancholy tease. 

And the forest’s frame
Takes on to yellow.
Against a backdrop,
Increasingly mellow. 

The rumble is here,
And through the ground
The rolling steel
Begins to pound. 

The light of day
Is, too, quite near
As the screech and shudder
Reaches my ear. 

Noise and commotion
Are all about
And the branches wave
And toss throughout. 

And suddenly
The sounds abate,
Leaving a silence
In their wake. 

Then, in that moment,
The sun’s return
Floods the land
With its brilliant burn. 

ADF

October 26, 2022

Motherless

My son called me to let me know the Queen had passed, simply because I was his Mum.

In that moment, I realized we have truly lost a Mother and in light of our largely patriarchal society, this will be an even greater loss. 

God bless the Queen and long live the King.  

Movement

The sun.

Moment to moment. 

Day to day. 

Year to year. 

Ever changing,

Always the same;

Yellow on blue,

Dressed in cloud,

Draped in mist. 

Smothered in smoke,

Settled in sunset. 

Waiting to rise. 

Ever there.

Down

Some days,

I just feel

sad. 

More

Dreaming dreams of having to leave.
And, in those dreams, I am confused;
I ask myself, why?
As there is nothing I wish to do less.
Maybe here is a message realised;
Nothing more than the tenuous situation
That is life itself.

White Light

The older I get,
the closer I feel
to the stars.

Anecdote from the Dreamscape

I dreamed of cyclones
forming before my eyes,
and of witnessing offensives
alighting silently in the dark,
upon parachute wings.

May 3, 2010

Desiderata

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the the changing fortunes of time.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Author: Max Ehrman (1872-1945)

This is my Bible, and I believe these words are appropriate now more than ever.

There is a myth that the Desiderata poem is centuries old, found in an old church in Baltimore in 1692 and of unknown origin. In fact, the poem was written by Max Ehrman in Terre Haute, Indiana, sometime during the 1920's (possibly as early as 1906) and copyrighted in 1927.

From the Dreamscape

The apocalypse was upon us and we had sought shelter in an abandoned wooden structure. This is where we met, Brian Cox (the Professor, that is) and I.
Over several days we used our brains (of course) and cunning to survive in a ruined world. Quickly, a bond grew and something sparked between us.
It wasn’t long before Brian popped the question, “Do you think we will ever understand the origin of mass in the universe, or discover the nature of dark matter?”

Ah, the dreamworld; veritable fodder for the imagination.
And a right nod to the Professor, a very smart man.

Taking A Cue

I heave a big sigh.
It is good to be back, but the early January black dog is round for its annual visit. I will embrace that dark being until it is time for the light to return.
The whirlwind of the Holiday Season has left and I am what remains; a bit scattered and worn. Jenny has left once more for her life in Vancouver. Bob has chosen to move on to beneath a his own set of eaves, and is in the process of boxing his belongings and gradually setting up his new home. Beth is doing her best to help her aging and recently widowed mother-in-law. I support and wish Beth all the best with the positive changes she is making in her life.
This being said, I have a need to do more writing; getting the thoughts and words swirling about in my head onto paper, so to speak. I enjoy the relative privacy and the quietness of this space compared to the noisy and busy places of popular social media, those pages of which are bombarded by such things I do not necessarily need, or need to know.
So, here it is. I have taken the cue and followed in the footsteps of two dear friends back to these pages. Thank you Anne-Marie and Gina! I hope to meet with others in this place, as well.

Finding The Way

Seek; in the dark.
Learn; without thought.
Grow; despite oppression.
Laugh; in the face of despondency.
Weep; where there is only joy.
Thrive; in captivity.
and Soar; upon clipped wings.

Hush

That fleeting moment,

between darkness and dawn.

A silence,

that sheds neither

shadow nor light.

Offerings

The shadows are dark,

And the sunrise is offering light.
The earth is thirsty,
And the dew is offering sips.
The mountains are cold,
And the clouds are offering hugs.
The trees are tired,
And autumn is offering rest.
The air is still,
And the wind is offering breath.
The day is spent,

And the night offers quiet slumber.

Choreography of a Fisher

the eagle
the osprey
wingbeat for wingbeat
swoop for swoop
wheeling and diving
then the fish drops
slipped from the grasp of the osprey
the eagle
like a rock
plunges
to rise again
triumphant
with its plunder

Insomnia

Watching.

As the moon’s bright orb

slides across my windowpane.
Soft breathing,
And counting heartbeats,
Lead me to the precipice.  

Hope

With all that is hurled upon us,

it can be difficult to believe
that kindness exists.

I am firm in my own belief
that the world exudes its own kindness,

and as a result,
we are immersed in it.

Be kind to the perceived unkind,

and seek the compassionate.

For they are there. 

Correction Line

Occasionally, I sense the earth has taken a great shift.
But, in looking up, the stars are the same,
And the sun still rises in the east.
I then understand; it is I who has taken the curve,
And a new perspective launches into focus.

The Cold Solstice

Rejoice now the inequality of the day,
For once more we persist toward symmetry.

The moon round and bright will light the way,
As souls ripen to warmth before the yule.

Constellations pulse coldly holding the dark at bay,
While hearty radiance spills from festive chambers.

For this is where we touch; midway,
Then on to where the sunlight will conquer the night.